1. You might be an SEO if…
On your honeymoon, you put a “nofollow” sign on the door…

2. What do pigs & SEOs have in common?
SPAM.

3. If it weren’t for SEOs, we wouldn’t need them.

4. Talk is cheap…until SEOs get involved.

5. It is the trade of SEOs to question everything, yield nothing, and to talk by the hour.

6. You might be an SEO if…
When your daughter brings home a new boyfriend to meet you, your first thought is to check his backlinks.

7. How was copper wire invented?
Two SEOs were arguing over a penny.

8. Two SEOs were walking along negotiating a case. “Look,” said one, “let’s be honest with each other.” “Okay, you first,” replied the other. End of discussion.

9. SEOs are the only profession where the more there are, the more are needed!

10. Old SEOs never die, they just lose their rankings.

11. What are SEOs good for?
They make used car salesmen look good.

12. What do you call 100 SEOs at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!

13. What do mold, ooze, pond scum and SEOs have in common?
They’re all slime.

14. What does pond scum have more of than SEOs?
Respect.

15. What is the definition of a shame (as in “gee, that’s a shame”)?
When a tour bus full of SEOs goes over a cliff.
What is the definition of a “crying shame”?
There was an empty seat on the bus.

16. What is the difference between pigs and SEOs?
You can learn to respect a pig.

17. You might be an SEO if…
You feel uncomfortable and out of place at a minor league baseball game because you don’t see a Text Link Ads advertisement on the outfield wall.

18. What’s the difference between SEOs and vampires?
Vampires only suck blood at night.

19. Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the SEOs?
New Jersey got first pick.

20. Why do they bury SEOs 20 feet under?
Because deep down, they’re really good people.

21. Why don’t hyenas eat SEOs?
Even hyenas have some dignity.

22. How many SEOs does it take to shingle a roof?
About 3 1/2, but you need to slice them pretty thin.

23. Why should SEOs wear lots of sunscreen when vacationing at a beach resort?
Because they’re used to doing all of their lying indoors.

24. Why won’t sharks attack SEOs?
Professional courtesy.

25. The problem with SEOs jokes is that most SEOs don’t think they are funny, and most people don’t understand that they’re just jokes!

26. How many SEOs does it take to change a light bulb?
15 - 1 to do the keyword research to make sure you’re changing the right light bulb, 1 to optimize the light bulb, and 13 to get the links.